Teaching - The cure for apathy

Lately I've been substitute teaching - a lot. I started out with the K-6 kids, but lately I've been taking jobs in the 9-12 grades. My assignments have all been at charter schools, so I have yet to experience life in a Detroit area public school. I've subbed for a wide range of students in humanities classes (mainly English), and have noticed one common thread in all classrooms -- kids know when they are receiving substandard teaching.

The first high school I subbed at was predominantly Hispanic/Latino. There weren't enough books for each of the students to be able to take a copy home, so they were forced to read the assignments - out loud - in class, and then do the work. I subbed in an African-American History class, an 11th grade English class, and a Weight Training class (for 11 & 12 grade girls).

The students were somewhat shy, but all of them tried to engage in the activities that their regular teacher had left for them. I was able to get students to discuss the process of "dehumanization" (they were studying the concept and practice of racial superiority in the history class) and the HUAC and the hunt for communists during the 1950s and how it related to the Salem witch trials (in the English class). It was obvious that the regular teacher was organized and focused, and that the teachers she worked with were also following organized plans for the students.

These teachers had high standards, but also took into account the actual day-to-day needs of their students. Throughout the day I heard teachers talking to students about college and career plans. The students themselves were excited about being part of the Homecoming planning committee or the cheerleading squad or taking the senior class trip in the spring. Their school building was clean and well-cared for, and the adults at the school talked to the kids like they mattered. There were signs all over the school that encouraged kids to graduate, to attend college, to know their history, and to be proud of who they are.

The second high school I went to was predominantly African-American. I subbed for a Geography teacher (who was actually in the classroom for the first period) who had great intentions, but was an inconsistent role model for the kids. The teacher wanted to be inspiring and motivational, but everything about his classroom and his own behavior spoke volumes about his inability to be consistent. He yelled at the kids for putting their feet on chairs, and proceeded to sit on a desk and rest his feet on a chair. His desk looked like a bomb had gone off on it, and he had trouble finding the lesson plan for the day, but he yelled at a kid who didn't have the top button of his shirt buttoned (but failed to notice that kid didn't have a top button on the shirt).

Only one class period was interested in actually learning something about geography, the rest of the kids were either disconnected, disengaged, or downright rude. I have to admit that the 4th period group finally got to me -- they were so rude and disrespectful that I finally sat behind the desk and ignored them because I simply couldn not discipline them in a way that made sense.

As I left this school, I compared it to the previous week's school and noticed that this building was older and less interesting than the other school. It looked like an office building, and it sat on the edge of one of the busiest streets in the city. There was no outside area for kids to hang out or play, and the inside was extremely institutional -- dark stairways, lots of securtity guards, and all bathrooms except for the ones just outside of the main office were locked tight. Teachers stood in the hallways during the passing periods and yelled at kids to get to class.

On the walls, there were lists of rules for everything from behavior to dress code, but I didn't see any teachers attempting to enforce rules such as "Girls may wear one pair of earrings, if they are hoop earrings they may be no more than 2" in diameter." The school's mission statement was hanging on the wall just inside the entry way, but nowhere else in the school did I see signs of encouragement or attempts to instill pride or self-worth. I certainly would have wanted to be a student at this school.

This week I subbed at a third high school that served a predominantly Muslim community. The classes there were divided by male and female, and most of the girls wore headscarves and long black dresses (though I found out later that the vast majority were wearing the most fashionable jeans and t-shirts underneath). The teacher was a woman who had clear cut standards and rules for her classroom, though the rules were limited to the most basic principles such as respect and timeliness.

I subbed in 9th and 10th grade English classes, and was both delighted and frustrated to learn that 14 and 15-year-old girls are the same no matter what they are wearing or what their cultural or religious backgrounds may happen to be. The girls in these English classes were lively and delightful and a complete HANDFUL. One class period, I had to bribe the girls to finish their work by promising them that they could listen to their homemade CDs once the work was finished and handed in (the CDs were full of rap, and the latest R&B - similar to the music that the girls at the Hispanic high school were listening to).

Then came 7th period American Literature - and six boys. I was worried that I'd have to fight with them to get the poetry assignment done, but they rose to the occassion and finished the assignement quickly. So I handed out the second assignment (the regular teacher was well prepared!) and they began working and talking to one another. To make a 50 minute period short, we ended up having one of the most engaging conversations I've ever had with a class of students. We talked about sexuality, careers, and college, and I promised to send them each a packet of information from the college where I teach part-time. I'm not sure that they belived that I'd follow through on my promise, but I did - that very same evening.

This school was obviously a newer school. There were lots of windows, air and light coming into the classrooms, and the school was immaculately clean - even at the end of the school day. The security people were watchful, but kind, and the teachers seemed to have lots of activities for the students to do and learn.

I know that it's kind of like comparing apples, oranges, and mangos, but these three schools have convinced me that the reason students succeed or fail is not simply due to the quality of the teachers, the materials, or the buildings. Students succed or fail based on the interest that adults take in their lives. Students mirror the values of those who model behavior for them -- be it one day or one year. It's made me much more congnizant of my own behavior in the classroom (not that it was ever bad), and of how much one day of subbing can either add to or detract from the overall goals of the teachers who work with these kids on a daily basis.

What I really love about substitute teaching is that it continuously requires me to reevaluate my assumptions and beliefs, and in the process, it makes me want to be a better teacher - period. And, I come away from each substituting job a little wiser and a little more uplifted -- and hoping that maybe the students I've taught, have too.

Home from the "Hell-i-days"

Tolstoy sure hit the nail on the head when he wrote "...every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." And at no time is the unhappy family more unhappy than during the holidays. Tis the season to...want to strangle one another.

I have just finished detoxing from a trip "home" for the Christmas holiday. I spent the week (foolish me) washing more dishes than I've ever washed in my own home just to avoid having to interact with my dysfunctional family. I gobbled anti-anxiety medication in a way that made even my own shrink nervous about what was going on, and I cried on the phone to my partner (at 4:30 am) that I wanted to come home NOW - the second day of the trip. All in all, it was exactly what I envision when I think (in my recovering Catholic way) that there might actually be a hell.

What makes my family so miserable? Illness, regrets, guilt, a lack of respect for one another (born out of grudges between my parents that probably have their roots in things that happened before I was born - you don't get that pissed off in a decade or two), and a complete inability to communicate. This is nothing new.

What makes me so sad is that I have great memories of Christmas' past - both as a child and an adult - and this year's celebration didn't even come close to being merry or even cheerful. My mom and I spent every day going to movies (albeit, a fun way to pass time and catch up on the latest films) in large part to avoid my father's anger and frustration over his ill health. When I was around, there was nothing to talk about because the television runs 24/7 and you can't get a word in edgewise. My dad spent most of the time I was home sitting in his chair trying to deal with the pain in his legs (he is diabetic and doesn't take care of his health, which means open wounds and constant pain) while my mother hid in her sewing room making quilts. They try to avoid one another as much as possible.

My dad feels guilty about his poor health, but does nothing to try and change the behaviors that led to the problem. My mother blames my dad for all the misery she feels - if he would just loose weight, get his diet under control, use his insulin properly, exercise, not spend so much money, etc., THEN she would be happy. My dad thinks that if everyone just left him alone to do as he pleases, THEN he'd be happy. It's a vicious cycle, and one that I am loathe to witness and definitely do not want to repeat.

The good side of this is that I DON'T live this way. My partner and I are honest and upfront (even when it stings) and don't play the "passive/aggressive" game with one another. However, it literally took 4 days and 1 shrink visit to detox from this past visit - I don't think I'll be doing it again any time soon. The recovering Catholic in me feels horribly guilty about this, but the person who wants to live a quite, mindful life has managed to make peace with it.

Book Tag from Steph at Sweet Water Journal

I've been "tagged" by Steph to do the following:

1. Find the nearest book.
2. Name the book & the author.
3. Turn to page 123.
4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page. (Aside: Fifth full sentence? That's what I'm assuming.) Copy out the next three sentences and post to your blog.
5. Tag three more folks.

I can do everything except tag three more folks (I don't know any other bloggers!)

Here goes...

_The Knowledge Deficit: Closing the Shocking Education Gap for American Children_ by E.D. Hirsch, Jr.

"The states therefore need to agree with one another on a core of specifics. To do this, they will have to follow sounder principles than those that have produced current state standards. Current principles righteously proclaim their own virtue in being vague because they nurture the differences among children, leave freedom for the teacher and the district, and proclaim a commitment to "deeper" aims like critical thinking and understanding."

I haven't actually gotten as far as page 123, but this is a good book if you are interested in learning how and why the public school system is producing students who are able to do little more than take standardized tests. Hirsch (the author of _Cultural Literacy_) argues that a large part of the problem with current mechanisms of American education is that students are unaware of cultural references (critical thinking) and that all of the rote memorization of "reading skills" (whole language, etc) is actually doing more harm than good when it comes to learning the materials. Very interesting book!